R.I.P. Sebastian

It was with a sad heart that I had to say goodbye to my wonderful dog Sebastian the Marvelous after 12 years of loyal companionship. He was sick and it became unfair to keep him with me instead of relieving his pain and suffering. 

It has been several weeks now and I still look around for him and get up to take him out before bed and then realize he isn't here. My cat Starbuck has taken his absence very hard also. She walks around calling for him, looking in all his favorite spots. 

Word for 2016

I don't do New Year resolutions. I never seem to be able to keep them, no matter how specific, timely, accountable, blah, blah, blah I make them.

The last couple years I've chosen a word or phrase for the year. 2013 was "do", 2014 was "don't die" (leukemia diagnosis -- in remission now!), 2015 was "no projects".

I've got a couple to chose from for 2016. One is "home". I really want to focus on getting my home in order. I've got a bunch of stuff to sell on eBay, I'm painting and redoing most of the condo, I need to focus on cleaning more consistently, and I want to do a major declutter.

"Companionship" is another option. I need more friends in my life. I'd like to be in a loving relationship with a significant other. 

"Better today" is the last option. I don't just want to exercise more, or eat healthy, or go to bed at a certain hour. I just want to be better today than I was yesterday. Tiny changes daily.

 Do you choose a word or phrase for the year or set resolutions?

Looking Forward to 2015

I'm not making any resolutions for 2015 or elaborate goals. I've learned this year you just gotta roll with the punches. Sometime what you planned isn't going to happen, despite your best intentions.

But I did like my One Word for 2014, Do, and will continue that. But I think I'll have 2 words for 2015, No Projects.

Because I am capable of DIY-ing, sewing and crafting I sometimes feel like I HAVE to diy it. Like its a requirement or wasteful if I don't. The problem is my time / energy levels don't mesh with my decorate / craft desires and nothing gets done. And the projects pile up and pile up and my anxiety grows and grows. Then I just get pissed off and am unhappy with the general state of things. Time to break the cycle.

So No Projects. I can't go out shopping, find a cute cheese board under a glass cloche and think what a cute vignette this would make. Just a little paint, distressing, some do-dads, hot gluing, maybe some glitter and a bow and voila a little thing for the coffee table. It only took 10 hours and 4 trips to the craft store, $35 in supplies, some of which were never used and now I have to store. If I want an item for a vignette it has to be entirely done when I purchase it. Taking the tag off is as much work as I should spend on it.

I've already started with this new plan. Some examples: I bought a fabric valance for my kitchen window. I COULD have made it easily and cheaper than what I spent on it. But I ordered it from etsy. It came in 4 days. I installed it with a tension rod so no nails or project there. And then it was DONE. Painless.

I purchased burlap Christmas stockings. It kinda pained me a little to pay for something made out of such inexpensive material. Again, I was totally capable of making them. I just knew that I wouldn't drag out my sewing machine, clear off a spot on the dining room table, make a trip to the fabric store for supplies, cut out and then sew them and have it all done so I could enjoy them for a few days this Christmas season. So I paid $6 each when they were 50% off the first and only time I went to the craft store this fall/winter and hung them up.

Now I don't have the money to have all my projects completed by someone else. I would love to have someone paint my condo. But at $1500-$2500 it isn't going to happen. So of course I will DIY this project.

I guess I never realized that I didn't HAVE to ALWAYS do EVERYTHING myself. If I enjoyed doing all these projects I would continue doing them. But it turns out I enjoy having them completed far more than I enjoy actually doing them (most of the time).

So the plan for 2015 is to try to purchase it already done or pay to have someone else to do it.

2014 in Review

Well I wouldn't be much of a blogger if I didn't do a 2014 wrap up post. So for the 10 of you who read my blog lets take a look back at 2014. **

Leukemia: well this one really sucked. But almost a year later the good news is my numbers look good and the disease is under control. I was also approved for another $15,000 grant for 2015 for my medicine which costs $350 a day (!!!!). Thank God I have health care and they pay for a good portion of it with the grant picking up the rest of the cost. Up until September I was still suffering with the brutal daily side effects of my leukemia medicine. Getting though a day was an accomplishment. But I finally found an equilibrium this fall and was once again interested in life, decorating and crafting. Unfortunately my interest in cooking, cleaning and laundry still remain gravely diminished. :)

I found some wonderful pink Murano lamps and decided to change up the entire house (again). With the thought that life is too short to not do exactly what you want, I'm redecorating in a cottage / shabby chic style using pinks, greens and blues with lots of neutrals and whites. I'm happy to use vintage pieces and quilts to finally (hopefully) express my personality and vision for a calm, soothing, feminine environment.

At the end of May my Son graduated from SCAD with a Bachelor in Fine Arts and I started enjoying my bonus days with him. In September he received multiple job offers and decided to stay in the Chicago area much to my delight. In October he moved out on his own to his first apartment and I tried desperately not to take over and decorate the place. I will admit to gifting him items I think he needs (like pillows for the couch) and suggesting he decide on a color scheme and overall look he wanted but refrained from making him mood boards and shopping lists, ha ha.

I started a new job working with a family with a 10 and 6 year old girl. The kids are nice, the hours are what I need. It seems to be working out.

I am still blessed with a loving family and caring friends and neighbors who really stepped up and helped out when I was at my sickest. And thank you, dear blog readers, for stopping by for my sporadic postings and not complaining when I talk about depressing things like leukemia.

2014 was a challenging year. But I'm hopeful that 2015 will much improved!

** This post went live some places accidentally on 12/24. If you saw it already I'm sorry!

OMG So much is Happening

Hi there. Sorry about the silence lately. Things have been happening! 

First of all I stopped (again) in the middle of the 30 days of blogging. The funny thing is that I had everything written in a word document and just had to create blog posts. But I didn't get it done. I might do a quick post with all the rest of the blessings just to finish it off. 

My son Forrest has moved out on his own into his first apartment. Such an exciting time for him. I've used this as an excuse to gift him my Crate and Barrel dishes and flatware and purchase new for myself. I'll do a post coming up with what I bought. I'm so happy with it.

My job as nanny for twin 7 year old boys has ended. The family wanted more household help during the day and has decided to hire a full time housekeeper who will also pick the boys up from school in the afternoons. I've been scrambling to find a replacement job. It's a horrible time of year to lose your job with all the holiday expenses. I've got something lined up to start Monday taking care of a 10 and 6 year old girl after school, take them to after school activities, help with homework and get them dinner. I'm nervous about starting a new job, but excited to have employment! It's not as close to home nor are the benefits as nice as my previous job. But I'm happy to have a job doing what I like. 

I've been taking steps to turn my son's bedroom into my sewing room. I need my son to clean out the rest of the stuff he has left behind and either take it, donate it or store it long term in the basement. He's been busy settling into his new job and apartment and life as an adult, but has promised that around Christmas he will help get it done so I can proceed with my sewing room plans. I'm anxious to get my machine set up and get a few projects done. But I haven't forgotten about finishing my bedroom!

I still have Thanksgiving decorations up! I need to get some paperwork done Monday and Tuesday in my free time and then I'll be free to get decorating. I'm just not feeling it again this year. It seems like such high pressure to make things "perfect" when it will only be decorated for 25 days (well only 18 days now). It's only me in the condo. I'm not having any parties or people over. So much work and expense. I think I overwhelm my self with Pinterest and all the possibilities. And you can't read a blog without a Christmas tour of their home and gift guides. Gah! 

As my blog is really a diary for me of changes to my home and things happening in my life, etc I think I'm going to take a few pictures of each room to document where they stand at the beginning of the year. I've made some drastic changes in all rooms but I have a long way to still go. Nothing is close to being finished so I hesitate to post progress pictures. I can *see* what they are going to look like. Just not sure anyone else will be able to. 

So that's whats been up with me. How are you? Are you done decorating for Christmas? Do you feel overwhelmed?

Bummer

Last time I left you I had sold my draper chests and was going to pick up the new dresser / tv stand for the living room. Well, that fell through. The people decided they wanted to sell everything as a set instead of separately. Of course they never called and told me that. I had to call them 4 times prior to the Sunday pickup trying to confirm that we were still on. At the last minute they called back. I had to quickly cancel the van rental and my high school boy helpers to move it into the condo. Bummer #1.

I'm tired that I'm mid decorating in most of my house, AGAIN. How come I keep changing things so radically? I was basically done except for my bedroom. I swear - pinky swear, that this is the last time. When I get a room done I will leave it alone and find something else to spend my time and energy on. Like teaching English as a second language (something I've been wanting to do for a couple years now). or taking a walk, or cooking a good meal. Seriously I spend so much mental time and energy decorating and redecorating spaces but actually accomplishing very little because I can't make up my mind. And really I don't enjoy the process. It's fun to buy new things, but that's about it. So I don't have a decorating problem I have a shopping problem that I then try to make work in my home. (WOW that really caught my attention. Funny what comes out when you sit down to write sometimes). Bummer #2.

A couple more semi-serious health issues have been discovered. Again! How can I be falling apart so much? I'm only 46. I seriously have to focus on being as healthy as I can possible be. Bummer #3.

On a positive note I purchased a couple bundles of dried lavender. The house smells so nice! Lavender is one of my favorite scents. So clean and soothing. If I ever have a yard again I will definitely grow some lavender!

Bonus Days

My son graduated from Savannah College of Art and Design at the end of May with a Bachelor's of Fine Arts in Digital Media. I'm so proud of him. Since then he's been looking for a job in making video game art and working on his portfolio. Luckily his Dad came thru with a substantial graduation gift so there is no urgency in finding work for awhile.

I consider these my bonus days with him. I know the time he will live at home is limited and can end abruptly at any time (when he finds employment) and I'm trying to enjoy every minute of it.

2014 - Do Something

What is it about setting goals for the year? 2013 I set some personal and house goals. I accomplished very little. Out of the 5 areas I wanted to focus my personal life I accomplished 2: I got a new job closer to home that meets my needs and I like and I lost about 28 pounds (although I'm sure I've gained several over the last 2 weeks!). The other 3 areas I made almost no progress and had quickly forgotten the goals shortly after making them. With the house goals I focused on areas that weren't part of my goals list and made little to no progress on the areas I said I was going to focus.

Things have to change. I love the process of setting goals however I think I set too many goals and quickly become overwhelmed with all the changes I need to make. And really I'm kinda lazy. I would much rather spend free time on my computer trolling Pinterest and Craigslist. I'm great at ideas and lousy at implementation. I even delay things like laundry and grocery shopping and general housework. I want to do things like take a sewing or cooking class but I hesitate for some reason. I'm kinda just watching life go by not actively living it.

There is a movement One Word 365 which advocates choosing one word to focus on for 2014. I really like this idea. Simple, to the point and easy to remember. I think my word for 2014 is DO.  I just need to get going.  I don't need to finish things. I'm not concerned with being "done" with something this year. I just want to make progress. I need to just get up and do something.

“What one does is what counts. Not what one had the intention of doing.”
― Pablo Picasso

"Do it badly; do it slowly; do it fearfully; do it any way you have to, but do it.”
― Steve Chandler, Reinventing Yourself: How To Become The Person You've Always Wanted To Be

“Success means doing the best we can with what we have. Success is the doing, not the getting; in the trying, not the triumph. Success is a personal standard, reaching for the highest that is in us, becoming all that we can be.”
― Zig Ziglar

Dining Room Chairs

I'm so excited. I purchased a new car on Saturday. I've been driving my 2001 Saturn since the summer of 2000. It only had 105,000 miles but was starting to have maintenance and reliability issues. It was time.

I'm thrilled with the car (not so thrilled with having a car payment again). It's a 2014 Ford Focus Hatchback. Yippie! A Hatchback!! I can now more easily buy/sell furniture. I put it to the test on Sunday when I purchased six large dining chairs.

5 fit into the car. I was very pleased with all the cargo room.

These have tall backs and wide seats. Very comfortable. They need some work. They are filthy and the finish requires some scratch cover. Obviously the upholstery needs to be replaced. I love the scale and the design on the back. I brought one chair upstairs from the basement so I could see how it looked in the dining room and they really make a statement - which is what I wanted. I can't wait to have the time to bring these beauties back to life. I've already got the fabric for the upholstery, Tommy Bahama Home Ebb & Flow Peninsula from Fabric.com







I love how it has all the blues and greens in my house in one fabric. I am a little concerned that its too busy with the detailed back of the chairs. Of course I bought the fabric prior to purchasing the chairs (why do I do that?) so it is what it is.  So even though I hadn't really planned on working on my dining room this year, in the last few months I purchased a new china cabinet, new rug, new decor for the bar cart, new drapes and have picked out a new light fixture. The only "old" thing left is the table (which I love and will be keeping), the wall color (which I want to repaint - maybe white) and the art work (which needs help). Maybe in the next couple weeks I can show off the completed chairs in their new room.

How was your weekend? Buy anything new?

Happy Birthday to Me!

It was my birthday Saturday. 46 years old. I don't feel that old. Seems like yesterday I was 32. Life was pretty good at 32. Life isn't bad now. Just not maybe 32 good. Does that make sense?

Anyway I bought myself some birthday presents. First off this beautiful 5"x7" painting by Kerry Steele. Isn't it pretty? My friendly UPS man delivered it today. It was packaged very nicely. It has wonderful texture to it. And I love the pink and orange. I am still trying to find the right place for it so this is the picture from Kerry's website and not in my home. I'll update you when it lands somewhere. I'm trying it out in several rooms and it looks great everywhere I put it!

I also bought myself a new watch. There are so many pretty reasonable priced watches out there it was hard to choose. I got this one from Overstock.com but in a navy blue color. It was a cheap $12.00 (but looks more expensive) watch but I liked its big face and the bling on the bezel. It's rubber band is kinda fun. So much better than the boring men's Timex I've been wearing.

My Brother and Sister-in-Law took me out for dinner on Sunday. It was so Yummy! We spent 3.5 hours in the restaurant just chatting and enjoying the delicious food. Such a nice present.  

All in all it was a very good birthday indeed.

Last Days of Summer

My son left for college at SCAD in Savannah Georgia Monday morning. He's a Senior this year (!!!!) and working again as a Resident Assistant in the dorms. He was out of town with friends for a few days and only got home in time to wake me up, kiss me goodbye and head to the airport at 2:00 am. Luckily the friends he was traveling with dropped him off at the airport on their way home so I didn't have to get up and drive. I'm NOT a morning person, no matter how hard I try.  He'll had a wait at the airport until his flight at 7:00 am, but it worked out well. He'll be home in 10 weeks for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I miss him when he's gone. But I'll enjoy having only my messes to clean and my food budget is much smaller when I'm not feeding a 21 year old.

I'm happy summer is over. I glad to get back into a routine. I'm also looking forward to long sleeved shirts, boots and leaves crunching when I take my walk.

Seriously?

I cannot believe that I'm sick again. I landed in the ER on Tuesday it was so bad. I'm home, off work and feeling nauseous, headachey, and cranky. I hate taking time off work. That whole no work = no money thing is a bummer. And I only work 3 afternoons a week so its not like work stresses me out or is difficult or anything. Plus I don't like to feel like I'm a flake and can't be counted on to show up when I'm supposed to. Agh! Grumpy.

I've made no progress with doing the finishing touches on my kitchen. Or taking pictures for you of the new paint and green accents I've added so far. I am pleased that I put everything back in the kitchen. It took a couple days to get the pantry back in place. I went through all my food, tossed a couple expired items and donated a bag of things I shouldn't be eating to the food pantry. Everything got wiped down and organized as I put it away.

I have a couple items to spray paint. Yea! warm enough weather for spray painting. However I've been sick during the dry weather and over the weekend its supposed to rain. So maybe it'll get done next weekend.

My son comes home from college in 4 weeks. I want to have the kitchen done.  I still have to clear out his room that I've been using as a dumping/storage room for the last 5 months he's been gone. And my bedroom is full of furniture to sell on Craigs List. I gotta get my hustle on.

I won!!

I won a giveaway from Little Green Notebook for a pair of shoes from Shoe Mint. I was so excited!

I was familiar with Shoe Mint but had never purchased anything. It was so fun picking out a new pair of shoes. They are all so pretty. I loved all the high heels but the reality is that I never wear heels. I went with a cute pair of flats (the Meredith) for spring/summer. (Yes, its the middle of winter with snow and ice in Chicago and I'm dreaming of green trees, soft breezes and playing in Lake Michigan).

While there shopping I also spotted a cute purse that was on sale. It's vegan and made with neoprene instead of leather. I don't have a problem wearing leather but I love that the neoprene is kind of quirky.  They also have it in a white/ivory colorway that would be wonderful for spring. I might have to order it! What a fun surprise to win.

Frustrated

I'm really frustrated. I want to be done with my home. I've lived here 5 years! I'm just constantly tweaking spaces - changing things up. My problem is that I find something I like and purchase it without having a master plan. And then I'm frustrated when all these things don't fit together. I think part of the problem is that when I moved here I totally changed my decorating style. I went from English Country House (traditional with a bit of chinoiserie) to strictly Mid Century Modern (which felt like a museum) now moving to more of  a Hollywood Regency look (colorful and feminine).

The only furniture that I kept when I moved was the couple of mid century pieces I had in my basement den. I didn't consider them part of my style. They were just inexpensive vintage pieces to fill the space. Some of it was because I thought I wanted a fresh start. And some of it was because the pieces I did keep (like a couch, chair, bed) didn't fit up my crazy short/narrow stairs.

I've never been comfortable here and I'm tired of it. I can't move. I can't totally redo rooms as I have an incredibly tight budget. Decorating my old house was so easy. Everything fit together. Decisions were easy. A color scheme came together quickly and wasn't changed all the time. I bought pieces that I loved and they just worked.

Truthfully I lack a cohesive vision for this house. At least a vision that isn't changing as quickly as the weather. It's like I don't know myself any more. I don't know how to fix it and I'm tired.

Ugh ... Sick!

How are you? I'm sick. I got a flu shot back in November when my dog bit me. (I don't think I told you about that. He just went crazy when somebody was at the door. He's a medium size dog so it was a small bite). I went to the Dr. and got a tetanus, flu and whopping cough booster shots during that visit. I figured since I was there and was getting stuck for the tetanus shot then why not? So I'm not entirely sure how I have the flu. Maybe it's just a bad cold? I don't know but I've been pretty miserable since Thursday. Today the fever has broken but I'm just exhausted with a cough and running nose. 

I had to venture out to the grocery store today as I was almost completely out of food. I felt so bad for the people around me as I coughed and sniffled and sneezed but I had no choice. The nice thing is that I didn't have to work Friday or today so I was able to just lie (lay?) around and watch some TV and troll Pinterest. 

I've seen more Storage Wars and Pawn Stars than is probably good for a person. You know that I just got a TV after not having one for 8 years, right? I seem to remember better TV shows on in the past. I have 200+ channels and seriously there is nothing good on TV. I'm really disappointed in HGTV. It seems all the shows are just these massive home remodeling shows. What happened to the decorating, crafting or even organizing/cleaning shows? The remodeling shows have nothing for me as I won't undertake any of those projects in my condo.

I'm going to take it easy for the next couple of days and recover. Hopefully this weekend I can start on some projects around the house.

I hope you stay healthy during this flu season!

Back to School

On Wednesday I took my son to O'Hare Airport so he could fly back to college. He goes to SCAD in Savannah Georgia. His only break until the end of the school year is Spring Break and he has to work (he is a resident assistant). I won't see him again until June.  It's too expensive to fly home for a weekend visit. Since I miss him so much when he's gone I try to focus on the positives. The condo stays much cleaner for longer when it's only me here. Also there are less dishes to wash, less food to buy and prepare, and I no longer have to share a bathroom. As the holidays are over and I'll have more time with him gone I can focus on getting some rooms finally completed. Now the big challenge will be to not change my mind on the planned designs and actually get things done!

First things first though. I need to "reset" the condo. For me before I tackle new projects I need the condo squeaky clean, with everything put away, laundry done and folded and put away, no outstanding household chores. I never feel like I can work on something new if have to clean the bathroom or am worried about dishes in the sink. Maybe that's why I don't always get things done. I'm waiting for the "perfect" time to get started.

Christmas

Christmas is kind of a bust for me this year. I've run out of time and haven't even brought the decorations up from the basement yet. I haven't done any baking. I didn't send out cards. I had plans of making some food type gifts that were scraped. I'm even taking store bought appetizers to my family's party. I'm pretty lame - although I did manage to get gifts for the 4 people/couples I buy for. It just seemed like there was no time and I wasn't in the mood. Now it's too late and I've given myself permission to just forget all of it and let it go. Maybe next year will be better.

I did manage to make two gifts. Well with some help.

I purchased a pretty lucite tray from The Container Store for $11.99. My son made a chevron liner with a monogram in Photoshop. We went to Office Depot and had it printed and then laminated for $2.50. Voila - a personalized tray. One is with red chevrons and the other has orange chevrons to coordinate with my sister's-in-laws houses. I hope they like it.

TV

Trumpets are blaring, a lone sunbeam shines down upon it and the clouds part and behold there is a TV.

 Ha ha. I have a new TV. It is really kind of a big deal for me. I haven't owned a TV  for about 8 or 9 years. As in no TV in the house at all. I watch a couple shows (Hoarders, Project Runway, Top Chef, Chopped) on the internet but that's about it.

Then why the new purchase you might ask? Well I find that I'm behind on everyday common culture. That might sound stupid. But I have no idea when most people talk about minor/local news stories, TV shows, commercials/new products, movies, celebrities on TV. I've lost a common frame of reference with many people. What started years ago as a respite from the constant bombardment of commercialism and sensationalized news has turned into being out of step. I feel like my 94 year old Great Aunt Helen, living in a technology free bubble, not even aware of what's going on around her. OK. I'm not that bad - I read the national news online. But you get the idea.

So when my internet/cable provider forcibly upgraded my internet service, offered free cable installation, a great rate, free DRV and $200 cash back all for one decent price I took the plunge and signed up for cable TV, all 200+ glorious channels. Bonus - my internet speeds quadrupled!

Here's hoping I don't overdose on HGTV and the Food Channel.

Stuff

I've been doing well selling items on Craigs List or eBay lately. I've sold my old living room rug, my mid-century modern credenza, my mid-century modern bar cabinet, my mid-century modern sewing cabinet, my Ikea platform bed frame, two bamboo chairs, a Lucite chandelier and an old Minolta camera.

I'm so happy to free up some space in the condo and get these extra pieces out of here. To sell I still have a teak rocking chair, a mid-century modern day bed without cushions (that I hauled out of someones trash - but in excellent condition!), an extra mid-century modern coffee table with some water damage (I was going to refinish it) and two Lucite chandeliers (purchased to resell) and two crystal lighting fixtures (also purchased to resell).  Although I might save the chandeliers and update the dining room and my bedroom. I also purchased to resell some designer clothes and a Prada handbag found while out thrifting. Some items didn't sell and I donated them - most notably my mid-century modern china set and some large canvases.

Things I'm still looking for / want to purchase: a new mattress and box spring, bedside tables, new dining room chairs, couch with chaise, possibly new drapes for the dining room, and possibly a new coffee table and end tables by the couch and finally possibly changing out the abstract art in the dining room for a gallery wall.

 In the upcoming months I want to tackle these projects: paint all the interior doors black, repaint all the trim white, paint my bedroom (still undecided on the color but with black and white accents), repaint the kitchen aqua plus about two dozen smaller projects. I'll probably give it some more thought and come up with a dozen home goals for 2013 so I have some focus and organization.

Writing things down like this helps me see that I am making progress in my home. Sometimes it feels like I'm standing still. Of course I will never "finish" because I'm constantly changing things like the credenza and bar cabinets in the living room, drapes, etc - things that are perfectly fine the way they are but I just want a change.

What about you? Sell any stuff lately? Make any purchases you've been planning for your house?

Christmas Cactus

Sorry for the radio silence the last couple weeks. My son is home from college for the holidays and I've been working a lot. Busy, busy, busy. I haven't even decorated yet for Christmas! Although I do have a pine scented candle burning so the house smells nice and festive.

I am so excited! This is the first time my Christmas Cactus plant has blossomed! While maybe not a big deal to most, I'm kind of a plant person and am very excited by this development. My African violets are also in bloom. All during the summer they are dormant. I have the large trees shading my condo so they don't get enough sun to do anything. But come fall - yippie! I give them a dose of fertilizer and watch them take off. I'll have lovely white, pink and purple blossoms for months. Now all I have to do is figure out why my orchids aren't blooming.

I just love having healthy, colorful plants around me.